


New year. Same old clichés. (I)

by notyourown



Series: Ian and Mickey: Mexico [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 00:38:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9148963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notyourown/pseuds/notyourown
Summary: It's New Years Eve. We say goodbye to old mistakes and welcome new ones.





	

It was New Year's Eve.

Five minutes to midnight. The night sky was dark, but the neighbourhood was loud and cheerful. In their back yard there was a fire, a fire they lit up so every one of them could throw things that reminded them of the year they wish to leave behind. They agreed to throw away the things that made them unhappy, angsty, that reminded them of the miserable past; so they could all move on together. Sort of a meaningless ritual, if you ask him. Still, there's something about burning stuff that gives you a sense of accomplishment. New Year celebration also has that effect. So why not give into it for once?

Around the fire stood everyone he loved and cared for. Well, almost everyone. They were smiling and passing the bottle of Jack from one to another, everyone taking a sip. Everyone except for Lip. He was the first one to move closer to the fire and throw something into it. It was his old AA chips.

"Well. Spent a good deal of this year decieving myself. Time to let that shit go. To a new beginning. A better one. A sober one.“ he said, taking a puff of his cigarette. Classic Lip. He smiled cockily and took a step back, embraced by Sierra's hands and a smile full of pride. Ian could already feel Lip tensing up at that. Those kind of smiles freaked Lip out. That was a loving, hopeful smile and god knows Lip didn't like having to live up to anyone's expectations. Still, he kissed Sierra and Ian shifted his gaze to the fire, which suddenly started to burn brighter. In it was a wedding veil.

"Fuck you, Sean. Fuck all of you. Jimmy/Steve/Jack. Gus. Just- fuck you all. I'm doing so much better by myself. To a new beginning. A better one. An independent one.“ she said and smiled, and everyone cheered for support. Kev and V welcomed her in for a hug, but they  seemed to be more ready than anyone to leave some shit behind them.

They placed a bag upon the fire and empty its posessions, watching the flame rekindle. They threw the bag in as well. "Fuck you, Svetlana. Your fucking loss.“ V said, smiling. Kev embraced his wife from behind and added: "To a new beginning. A better one. Without russian bar-stealing, love-faking prostitutes.“ At that, everyone laughed loudly as they cheered the couple on.

Debbie went to the fire next and she threw a baby soother in. "Fuck you, _abuelita_. And your fucking  coward of a son. We don't need your fake affection. Frannie has a loving family and you chose not to be a part of it. Your loss. So here's to a new beginning. Less stressful, less chaotic, a one with Frannie's happiness always first in mind.“

Everyone clapped and Carl approached the flame next. "I wanted to throw a gun in but that didn't sound like a good idea so I'm gonna go with this.“ he proclaimed and tossed a shirt inside. "What I was wearing when I got sent to juvie. Fuck you, prison. Look at me now.“ He smiled. "So, a new beginning. I'm a man now. I'm gonna act like one.“ He smiled again and everyone cheered loudly, Fiona with a tear in her eye.

"My turn, I guess.“ Frank said and all eyes turned to him. „Well, this has been a shitty year. The shittiest so far and I've had some really shitty ones. Anyway, the only woman I ever loved died this year.“ He paused for a second. "When I look back on it, the only thing that really matters is that we were together during her last breaths. No one can ever take away everything we've been through. It was crazy, fucking destructive and I'm sorry we hurt you kids. But I'm not sorry we got to live our days out the best we knew how to.“ At that, he took a bottle of her pills out of his pocket and threw them into the flame.

As Ian listened, a strange urge overwhelmed him. He'd felt this before. He'd felt this every time Frank had talked about Monica and he felt it again tonight. It's longing. A deep, sorrowful longing for someone. The longing has a name, one Ian's been avoiding altogether, a name tied strongly to everything Ian's ever felt and everything Ian's ever known as love or devotion.

He exited the circle, ignoring Frank's further babbling. No one noticed him leave. He got into the kitchen and took his phone out of his pocket. He dialled a number.

"Hola.“ a voice greeted him cheerfully.

"Hey. It's me.“ he answered sheepishly.

"Ian?“ the voice was now surprised.

"Yeah. Happy New Year.“

"You too, dumbass. What's up?“

"Just, uh, wanted to  hear your voice.“

"Everything alright?“ the voice was now worried.

"Yeah, uh. Yeah.“ he stopped for a second. "No, actually. I really fucking miss you.“  he admitted, a tension building in his throat.

On the other end of the phone, he sensed some tension as well. "Ian. Don't do this, you can't do this to me again.“

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just- Fuck. Forget it.“ Ian gave up and hung up the phone.

Within seconds, the phone rang again and Ian picked up, hopeful.

"Why the fuck are you being dramatic?“ The voice was now agitated, dark, but still kind of soft. Ian only ever knew one person who could do that: sound so loving and so bitter at the same time. It fucked with him, with his head, it always had, how one single person can mean so much, represent so much, that even when they're thousands of miles away, only the sound of their voice can still make you crumble like a small, desperate child.

"I'm sorry. I love you and I miss you. Just needed you to know that.“

There was nothing but silence on the other end. After a few seconds, the man finally replied, his voice now completely soft and his guard down like Ian has only ever seen it when they were together: "I love you too. Happy New Year.“

Ian smiled as a hot tear rolled down his cheek. The line went flat. He swallowed hard and enhaled deeply before going back to his family.

The hot flame dried his face and his family embraced him as fireworks lit up the city in the distance. The night wasn't as dark anymore and a new beginning wasn't as distant anymore. Maybe this time it didn't have to be only a silly cliché.

"What are you throwing in, Ian?" Carl asked when the fireworks finally ended.

"Nothing." He smiled. "I might actually need to take some shit out of the ashes and rebuild it."

He turned away into the night. The cold air calmed his racing heart down a little. He looked into the sky. Battles can make good friends if you know how and when to pick them. 


End file.
